Whenever Republican men arise, and their consort is aesthetically challenged, along with a hefty dose of testosterone a singular question comes to mind before festivities even begin — if she’s an Ugg, she’s probably a Democrat, if she’s an Ugg Extraordinaire, perhaps even a liberal Democrat, so what steps must a responsible Republican take to protect America from yet another natural-born catastrophe?
Real Americans* know the answer! Real Americans shoulder their responsibility to keep America…the beautiful. Real Americans suit up with IRON MAN condoms and COME PREPARED, to help assure the prosperous, beautiful, secure, and conservative Motherland of the future!
IRON MAN CONDOMS
WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD…KILL!
Remember, “88,000,000 pesky Democrats posing as Americans are already 88,000,000 too many! Don’t YOU be the one who makes it 88,000,001!”**
Iron Man — Republicans don’t leave home without one…or more, should they be out amongst blue state heathen and feelinnn’ grooooveee!***
***Get it? Sometimes I crack myself up with double entendres! NOOO! …there I go again! it’s a little weak but still sweet!